i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Quick, to the slutcave!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
