Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
