oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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