We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
