Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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