Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Farmville is her only friend.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
