I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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