and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i think im in europe. pls send help
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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