Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.

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(269): View more from Michigan

We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds

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(360): View more from Washington

Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.

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(845): View more from New York

He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun

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(714): View more from California

theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit

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