Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
