Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
