so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
