Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize