a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
