I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
