But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
