rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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