Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
