i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
