i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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