No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Your penis caused this!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
