areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
50% drunk capacity currently
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
