After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
