How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
