But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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