yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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