If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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