careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
