Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
