So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The beer is more important than you right now.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
