it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
