I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
