alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
