At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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