She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
