I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
