I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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