We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
