Tell her she can't have a vagina
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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