i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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