you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize