Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
