Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
