I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
