This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Of course I have a pirate flag
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
