I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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