hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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