only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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