I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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