Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
