SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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