fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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