so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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