so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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