I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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