Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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