Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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