You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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