it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
