whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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