been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
