just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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