This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
