there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
one might say we're banned from that church
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
