so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
