dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
