woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
