cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
