Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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