We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
